the choc waffles and hugmug :)

talked to mermaids over the phone for an hour.

they're giving me the zen i needed :)

and our conversations led me to recall of that day.

how much i miss

that freezing evening back in winter

when there were only us chilling out at maxb talking about dreams

spotted maxb at vivocity the other day

i wonder will it be the same as the one in south melbie

make it on my day

shall we? 

:)

如果 我就这样不回来了
你会不会 挂念


我的答案
是 肯定的


不要难过
见到彩虹  就想我一下下
好不好

要快乐

要学会珍惜

原来

笑着哭 最痛

it's his CONVOOOOOOOO :)

i am mad happy/proud and kinda pressured at the same time.

CONGRATES BROTHER!

*clearing throats*

i think you totally forgot about me telling you not to graduate with first class :s

haha.

oh well,
Matthew graduated with a first class deg and gonna cont with his masters with scholarship.
aunt and uncle and cousin are mad happy.
granny is mad proud.
and my parents are pressurizing me now :(

what else can i say... both the cousin brothers who grow up together with me are all graduated with first class; one in music and one in engineering. 

>_____________________________________________________<

i am gonna be so dead and i needa start to be kiasu liao!

pssttt! gimme some of your zen to study can or not arh?

woke up early today.
Xuan  is gonna sit for her last paper later and she's going back hometown after that.
for good, she said.
she's graduating.

what about me?
im gonna have the room to myself for quite some time and i seriously *dislike* that.
the feeling of being alone and having no one to talk to at night.
no more watching drama bersama-sama, no more pillow talk :(

i am already missing her before she leave.
argh.
i needa find a way to fill up that emptiness.
i gonna miss her so much :s

baby sister called and told me that she had nightmare last night and she is wide awake until now.
crying over the phone.
i don't know what i can do other than listening to her and tearing quietly.
i miss her, a lot.
babe, you just need some time to adapt to it. it's just life :)
i whispered in my heart.
coming back soon right darling? i am going to see you in a couple of weeks time.
be strong :)

hung up the phone and i started to wonder how is my today gonna be.
another day with routines or another day dead in bed.
how nice, if i could sobbed the pain away.

谈。朋友

去了一趟新山  见了见老朋友
你们还是一样  没变
唯一不同的是  你们都要开始为自己的生活  忙碌
毕业了  要开始工作了

有时候

很怀疑自己是不是都被你们  宠坏了

你们常说

这就是在一大群男生中当  唯二的女生  的好处

就是任何事都有你们这群男生扛着

我喜欢  坐你的车的时候

你帮我开车门

我喜欢  去吃饭的时候

你帮我拉椅子 问我想吃什么

我喜欢  晚上去宵夜的时候

你坚持载我 不让我驾车

我喜欢  天气冷的时候

你二话不说地把身上的外套脱了 给我

我喜欢  你们都记得我随口提的任何事

因为你们都放在心上

上个星期天

很幸福

葵违了很久的  你们
虽然不是全部人都在
还是很温暖

让我重温  被宠坏的回忆

动物园  风筝  吃冰  日本餐

我知道你们只是要我 快乐一点

我都知道

那天 傍晚

我们谈 梦想

就好比 放风筝 一样
飞得高  飞得远
还是有所负  担挣脱不了那道线
梦想和现实
是成正比的
找到平衡点一样可以很  快乐


我喜欢  放风筝
尤其天空只属于 我 的时候
我 可以为所欲为
不必担心 其他风筝线割断了我的


他说
你放风筝时  很像很久没吃到雪糕的小孩
手握着风筝线  很忘我地一直微笑

他说
你就一直这样好了
快乐微笑很适合你  以后被欺负不开心的时候
我带你去放风筝

他说
有时候觉得你们这两个女生
比自己的女朋友  还重要

他说

不要长大  不要改变

做自己就好

离开的时候要说一声

不要让我们这些爱你的朋友  太难过

他说

要乖要听话

要好好照顾自己

难过是一定会有的　只要咬紧牙关撑过去

就算是失败了　也对得起自己

很感恩

身边有疼爱自己的你们　这群无聊的大男生

当我　不爱自己　的时候

你们比我　还要爱自己

当我没办法　再爱自己的时候

你们替我爱我自己　替我担替我忧

我

很感恩

:)

----
p/s: i spent hours writing this long post in chinese eh. as you all wish, it's in CHINESE :)
i keep my words :))

so we went fly kite on Sunday :)

it wasn't just a random outing.

meeting up with hometown buddies was zomgextraordinarily happy.

and they brought me to fly kite!

at one of the hills in UTM. btw that uni is huge ae.

we had great time.

and i had great time flying kite as well.

:D :D :D :D :D

they said i looked like i've kena jackpot or something when i was holding the kite in my hands.

and i looked exactly like a kid and smiled and laughed like how i used to when i was back home.

anyway, i was megaexcited lor :D

too bad we didn't take much photos =//

i love flying kite :)

the lil cute cub at the Zoo!

we went to the private zoo in Saleng before we went fly kite.

stopped by for a lil while to visit and HUG the 2 month old cub :)

isn't he just gorgeous!

how much i wish i could bring him home.

so far this was the most fab Sunday of all :)
the lil cute cub at the zoo lightened up our Sunday evening.

借我 你的勇敢 好不好？

我会很乖。

i miss gorgor.

i miss that autumn back in October 2009

so cozily heartwarming with you.

i miss how you looked
when you first saw the redheaded me at the airport.

i miss how you complained
when you were dragging my huge luggage to your car.

i miss running down the street screaming i hate you
when you stole a bite of my hamburger.

i miss you putting your arms around my shoulders
when the cold wind blowed and i was shivering.

i miss screaming you gorgor
and you rolled your eyes and asked whats wrong.

i miss that autumn

when i can run freely at the streets 

i wish i could kiss pain goodbye now

i couldn't sleep tonight :(

@pcmc

Love from New Jersey!

it was like yesterday.

she was away for 8months, we miss her.

we had great time hanging out today.

a lil retail therapy and dinner :)

it has been a while since we were all relaxed and laughing about almost everything.

life is good.
with cute people around.

我 唱给 二十一岁的自己

我总是惦记 二十一岁不快乐的妳

我多想 把哭泣的妳 搂进我怀里

不确定自己的形状 动不动就和世界碰撞
现在我却总爱回忆 回忆当时不服输的妳

天空 会不会雨停 会不会放晴
会不会还能勇敢地去淋雨

感觉累了的时候 只想抱著真心
静静好好地休息 

遇见过很多很多人 完成了一些些事情
很感激 妳那麼倔强 

我才能变成今天这样

没有地图 人生只能凭著手上的梦想
那年的梦想
人要有梦想 勇敢的梦想 疯狂的梦想

不要辜负心里那个乾净的自己
痛到想哭的时候 就让泪水洗掉委屈

被回忆而珍惜
我没有对不起 那个二十一岁的自己

听了 继续-给十五岁的自己

改了歌词

我 唱给 二十一岁的自己

亲爱的你 若有感动 

请牢记在心中

下一次下雨 你能看见的 

那道彩虹

不再可能是我

当人活成了一棵仙人掌 

掌心的泪却还是滚烫 

每当抚摸那些天真致命伤

恨 不能健忘

NEW TOYYYY!

my sexy REDberry love!

i still couldn't believe that Sophie actually successfully brainwashed/persuaded/talked me into being a blackberrian!

anywayyy, i can't stop abusing it now :p

i simply LOVE how it connects me with my loves who are in aussie/canada/poland/romania :)

you have no idea how much i miss you all.

it's 18th again!

by the way,

IT'S

THREE MONTHS  

AWAY FROM 

JULY!

:D :D :D :D :D

you know what i mean

*evil grins*

p/s: i can't wait to go home!

#OMG I HATE THAT!

# going to school on my birthday. and no one realises that it's my birthday.
# when someone says someone is ugly when they're actually the one who's ugly. look into the mirror please!
# being sick on a holiday. moaning dead in bed.
# not remembering my favourite dream. that really shhhucks.
# those boring books that i have to read for school. they all look the same. blah!
# when i lost my belongings. i actually miss my lost purses and phones and cameras.
# not knowing what to wear. thats why i wear pj out sometimes.
# stare at the phone for five minutes...put the phone down. then the message comes.
# already tied my hair in a pony tail then realizing i left some hair out. i am impatient i know that.
# buying snacks at the movies only to finish most of them before the movie starts. and the person sitting next to me munching away during the whole movie.
# when my friend gets mad at me for the most pointless/ridiculous reason. my fault?!
# those phone conversations where all i can say is "Yeah, Yeah, Okay, I know, Yes ok, mhm, BYE." haha!
# when there isn't a price tag on something. foc?!
# i tell myself that i gonna get up at a certain time but when that time comes around i am still in bed. blame the snooze button!
# when someone scares me to death! maybe the way i scream is way too entertaining?
# when i feel like i am falling in my sleep. thats mega-frightening!
# NEEDLES! poking holes on my body is the most uncool thing in the world.
# that creepy-crawly feeling. eeeewww! you know that right?
# when people make fun of someone right in front of me who i am clearly friends with. don't mess with cannibals!
# when people brag about something stupid. that kinda makes me feel good sometimes cos i'll feel like i am smarter!
# when my best friend and i like the same guy. so cool, isn't it?!
# studying for a test that i know i am going to fail anyways. owh, i don't mean stats and politics! 
# thinking i brought what i needed until opening my bag and realizing its not there. it happens all the time!
# when the internet is slow. i feel like killing whoever invented pps!
# when i haven't done anything and i get the blame. i will triple-pay-you-back.
# when everyone expects me to get A's in everything. I'm not a robot who's only programmed to study!
# forgetting something that i told myself to remember the night before. sign of aging i guess. grr.
# when i need something, its never there. but when i don't need it, its always there.
# everything seems louder when i am trying to be quiet. thats the only moment i wish i was deaf.
# how people stare at me when i walk in late. as if i did something really wrong.
# not being able to explain something to someone because it only sounds right in my head. hummpphhh.
# the tired feeling after crying. and i don't feel any better at all after that.
# when i wake up from a good dream. how much i wish i can stay in it forever.
# when people TYPE IN CAPS. it makes me think that they are yelling at me.
# when someone says they'll do something and they never do. words are meant to be kept lerh!
# stupid annoying people when i am trying to be serious. there are times when i want to get serious too okay?!
# the moment when i realized i just screwed up. yeah, just so screwed up.
# when i am waiting in line and people just assume they can cut in front of me. queue please!
# two faced people. the ugliest people on earth.
# when it's too hot to sleep. and i cant sneak under my blanket cos it's too hot.
# anxious to go somewhere for a while and it ends up getting canceled. that feeling shhucks to the max.
# when the tall people block my view by sitting in front of me. i know i am short eh.
# when i build up to a sneeze... and nothing happens. i hate that itchy feeling and not knowing how to stop it.
# when people do something mean to me then ask if i am okay! HELLO?! mind if i do the same to you?
# when people hide things from me and never tell me the truth. not telling the truth is also lying.
# when people try to manipulate me...i am not an idiot. show me some respect. SERIOUS!
# when my phone dies. i can't live without my phone.
# when people copy everything i do. copydogs!
# those people that just like to piss me off for no good reason. or i am easily pissed off?
# having a mini heart attack hearing noises when i am home alone. thats real creepy lor.
# finding bruises/cuts on myself and not knowing how i got them. i admit that i am clumsy sometimes.
# the sunday night, school the next day feeling. monday is always blue.
# when people wear an inch of makeup on their face. why live with a mask on?
# when someone wears knock off brands of clothes. and they think they are so cool wearing them.
# people who like to gossip. oh fish, go get a life! don't you have something better to do?
# when people who assume they know me well but i don't even know them personally. don't ever say that i am vain anymore because i am not!
# idiots who act as if they are my friends. go talk to your imaginary friends ok?
# when people ask me to guess. why don't you just tell me whatever you want to tell me?
# when i need to use my brain to think. i am lazy and i know that.
# my parents call and yell at me over the phone ' WHY ARE YOU STILL SLEEPING AT THIS HOUR?!' hello, it's not even 9am!





           

#OMG I LOVE THAT!

# find random money in a jacket or a bag that haven't worn/used for a long time. especially when i am kinda broke.
# no school. or class canceled!
# wake up and then realize there's one unread text. happy ones of course.
# chocolates. oh, and gummy bears.
# getting together with my family. yayy, my family!
# having a dream of the one i miss. and it will be the best thing ever if i get to see that person when i open my eyes.
# eating ice-cream while being depressed. yes, ice-cream!
# when someone tells me good morning or good night. it's just so heartwarming!
# random happy days. i miss the old goodie days.
# morning dew on the grass. it's just so...!!
# being above the influence. you know what i mean.
# rainbow colored pebbles in fish bowls. aww i just love rainbow colors.
# hugs from behind. i love hugs!
# surprises. i still remember that bday surprise that my mom ruined when i was 16 :p
# mcdonald's fries. it's the best when it comes with a sundae.
# when strangers help each other. it makes the world beautiful.
# a cup of coffee in the morning to start my day. i just love coffee.
# going to movies. especially when it's movie marathon.
# days when i don't epically fail at everything i do. life is much more beautiful that way.
# when a dream comes true. who doesn't love this?
# unplugging my phone after a long charge. i can't live without my phone.
# coming home after a long day at school. and a cold shower completes it all.
# when the person i love smiles. and i get butterflies. 
# holding hands with someone i love while interlocking fingers. that sounds cute right right right? haha.
# exotic tattoo's with deep meanings. i always wanted to get one!
# when it rains but doesn't thunder. i love the smell right after it rains.
# bright colored socks. cos i love slipping around the floor in my socks.
# getting letters in the mail from my friends. i love handwritten letters.
# waking up on a sunday, thinking it’s monday and then realizing it’s actually sunday! haha. life's good sometimes.
# when my sister calls and tells me that she misses me. though we always fight over silly things.
# fly kite. i love the feeling of holding the thread in my hand.
# going to zoo. don't you just love animals?
# backpacking/travelling. especially to places where people speak different languages.
# my parents tell me that they love me the most. bwahaha!
# hugging my grandma. she is just so cute!


 
  
          
                 

慢慢

慢慢的才知道，太在乎别人 往往会伤害自己。




慢慢的才知道，未必做每件事情都有意义，可是做的每件事情都觉得是一件回忆。




慢慢的才知道，原来现实如此的无奈。




慢慢的才知道，自己也在慢慢长大，不在是小孩子了，适应着每一件事的成长。




慢慢的才知道，原来距离 不是难过的 而是美丽的。




幸福，原来一直就在身边。

see you soon.

oh well, i've been trying hard to pull every piece of myself together.

i guess i am almost there.

be an adult.

so, see you guys soon.

i wonder if you'll miss her laughters and smiles after she is gone.

i definitely will :)

我一直想知道，如果你们看到那一刻，

我如此快乐的表情，还会不断地催我成长，让我成熟吗？

Pillow Talk.

had pillow talk with my buddy last night and we sorta draw out a conclusions from our 'discussions'.

that a majority of men are essentially clueless when it comes to understanding the female psyche.

When a man has a conversation with another man, it is often largely problem-solution based. Men since the beginning of time have largely played the problem-solving roles of the herd. Unruly herd member? Solve him/her. Shortage of basic necessities in immediate geographical region? Solve it. To a man, the following is representative of an ideal conversation:

Jack: Dude. I just got fired. (problem)

Bob: Dayum bro. I'll help you look for a new job. (solution)

Jack: You're the best dude.

Bob: I know.

Women on the other hand, traditionally play a nurturing role. A role which involves listening to each other's dilemmas, relating to one another and offering symphaty and comfort. An ideal female conversation:

Jacintha: Girl, I just got fired (problem)

Bobbita: Dayum sister. I feel your pain. It must suck being fired. I have friends who recently got fired too, so you're not alone. Are you ok? Come here. (symphaty + emphaty + oozy wooziness)

Jacintha: You're the best.

Bobbita: :) (which sounds like *sigh*)

In a nutshell,

Men want solutions.

Women want empathy.

So the next time your female friend/girlfriend/wife/transsexual comes to you for comfort, ditch the solutions. Be there for her. Emphatize with her. Put yourself in her shoes (or heels. But not literally, you dumbass). Imagine how it would feel like to be her.

Sometimes we (women) know exactly what we want and what we should/supposed to do. JUST THAT we need someone to talk to, that's all. and sometimes, it is just pretty hard for us to talk to the guys when they said they will always be there to listen but ended up complaining much about our whining; and saying all sort of things like ' i told you already.. you never want to listen.. '

Thus, i decided to filter my own feelings. what to tell and what not to tell, else i'll be labeled as 'magnifying my unhappy feelings/thoughts' again. sounds familiar? 

tell you what, it hurts as much as last time.

i am still trying hard to smile.

i will keep whatever i've promised.

i will.

i will.

i will.

i will.

i will.

i miss...

flying again.

i miss looking out the window and counting the lil cute clouds.

i miss greeting a city from the sky above. 

i miss seeing rainbows whenever i am taking off. 

i miss seeing planes like they're toys that i used to play when i was a kid.

i miss reading in the flight.

RedRed misses every moment when it's tucked in my bag and being carried around.

i miss the feeling of waiting alone at the boarding hall, watching people passing by me.

i miss taking train alone to the airports. the feeling is just so different.

i seriously miss flying again.