SORRY.

sorry for being childish and threw tantrums in college today.
i know that i shouldn't have done that.
i shouldn't have thrown my stuffs on the table and made loud noise.
i shouldn't have show that kind of face when everyone tried to cool me down.
i shouldn't have.
i shouldn't have.
i shouldn't have.

it has been a long while since i last threw such tantrums. a year ago?
i know what's wrong with me and i am sorry about it.
i did see it coming and i should have just kept quiet instead of throwing tantrums.
my fault.
i will keep it all, to myself, from now onwards.
i am sorry.
sorry.

hummss*

been reading since i got home.
from physio psych to abnomal child..
read a bit of the info online and trying to get everything into a piece. oh gawd, a presentation, a deadline and a test tomorrow. how good can my day be after everything had happened this morning...i feel like hiding under my blanket for the rest of my life and stop breathing.


came across someone's blog. 
i love how she wrote about her feelings after a breakup. i don't know her personally but she is one of my hi-bye friend's buddy's ex-gf now. argh. i have no idea why they broke up but they seemed so happily together before this. i assumed they broke up peacefully, the guy moved on without leaving anything behind. the girl, she's still crying deep down though she acts like she is very okay in front of everyone. i feel like hugging her at this moment and tell her that things are going to be alright. 
she made a point very clear in her blog, which i couldn't agree much with. there was once someone told me that we are not possible to be together cos of my family background. so i guess it is a sin to be born in such family? i am not as high maintenance as some people might think. do not ever judged me before you get to know me, seriously. i mean who the hell are you to say that i am a spoilt brat? and yeah, we cannot be together because i am a rich bitch? hell ya. i only spend on things that my dad allows me to buy, i only buy because my parents allow me to. argh, thinking of it really pisses me off. nevermind.


back to my week.
it is only tuesday and i am already suffocating. things will get better after thursday, i think.
i love doing assignments but when tests and deadlines and presentations all cramped up together, me no likey it.
don't tell me the whole thing of 'why don't you do it earlier?!' oh fcuk your brain, you have no idea how busy we are since the start of our semester. we have tests and assessments every week. and i think i look like a zombie now :s SIGH. gimme back my life, please.

i am looking forward to the bachelorette partayy this friday. instead of clubbing out celebrating, i talked her into having it at her house first before everyone moves to drinking in club :D thankyou darlinggg, you totally deserve a big angpao from me :)

Lydia made Sophia a very nice birthday cake, i want it also lor. eiks. gonna wait til september i guess.
i miss my mermaids.

going paintball with cousins on thurs. im praying for a clear blue sky~
can't wait :D

i feel like eating laksaaaa now. dinner later, perhaps.

dad asked if i still want red hardboiled eggs.
I WANT :D

being hugged when you're crying, makes you cry even more.

i am losing faith in promises, honestly.

no expectations, no disappointments.

i get it now. 

and you know what, i am so sick of promises now.

so sick of it!

我是

沈欣嬟

:)

lil quickie update!

for those who haven't been seeing me lately, i am doing good :)
i have been eating well, playing much and talking loud.

for those who are always there for me, with me.
i am sorry for all the bad tantrums and complains.

assignment deadlines and sports make me feel alive!

累。泪

牵肠挂肚了好多天
你留给我的只有失望和泪水

One more month :)

I am looking forward to it. Very :)

i am so effing SICK and MAD.
i am at the edge of breaking down and giving up.

what the hell is going on?!
life just sucks to the max when there is an unethical thesis supervisor in our lives.
who the heck are you to do whatever you like to us?
HELLOOOO.. THIS IS TARC and NOT HELP anymore!
get over it please you aunty-ish Permanent Head Damaged-Educational Psycologist!

one more month to HOME.
finally..after 10months.
I wonder if that lil town has changed much.


Brunei Sushi Escapade, anyone? :)
Text me! :) :) :)

oh, me.

meeting up with thesis supervisor

random act of kindness preps

supersize me respond paper

assignments and assignments

tests and tests

sports psych preps

presentations

and 

new house renovation

pffffft.

stress level is going up every day when i wake up.

but i kinda love it though.

at least i feel like i am living myself again.

sleepless nights sitting in front of lappy reading and typing.

sitting down thinking of what to do next, prioritizing tasks.

talking to mom and dad and grandma.

do some lil shoppings with housemates.

some random makan outings with buddies.

hanging out at college.

tired.

but contented.

i am happy.

i think.

an escapade?

soon :)

how are you today?

good :)

In fact, I don't feel good at all.
I feel sick. Nausea all day long.
Something goes wrong and yeah, so wrong.

I can't sleep and that's why I'm here at such hour.
I feel like going home, now. To where I belonged.
Homesick.

Staring into space. Counting sheeps. Read a book.
Pressing bb.
I've tried everything and I just couldn't get to sleep.
:( I'm physically worn out.

Thinking of the assignments and tests alone is pure mental torture.
It can't get me to sleep either.

I sleep only when dawn comes.
For the past one week. Weird huh?
I think so.

Gahhhh :(

泪的重量
夜的漫长
疯了一场短暂狂欢的过客

yayya.

im officially back in college.

i feel kinda good i guess.

love the intense discussions and brain storming sessions in class

:)

one more year to Liverpool :)