i remember, when we were back from Kangaroo Island.
that particular night. i was in kinda bad mood.
i didn't talk throughout the dinner and walked home in barefeet.
stopped by a pharmacy to grab panadol.
i was in pain. migraine and wisdom toothache.
it took my smile away. even my patience.
i ignored nk's friends at home.
yeah, totally. i was in the mood of i-just-want-to-be-myself.
i remember, you guys sort of scolded me in the car while we were on our way to Barossa Valley on the next day.
you said, 'you are not the same person anymore that i know 5years ago.'
you said, 'why are you unfriendly towards them?'
you said, 'why did you change so much?'
you said, 'you are like a stranger to us.'
you said, 'i don't know you anymore.'
you said, 'you are having bias towards nk's friends.'
you scolded, 'you should have see how you behave!'
i didn't really defend myself.
because you don't know.
you don't know what have i been through all this while.
you don't know how much i've been suffered throughout the months.
you don't know how much hurt i got.
you weren't here when i needed you the most.
you weren't here to see how much i bled.
you weren't here to see how badly i fell.
you weren't here to see how i lost my faith in believing people.
i've learnt to build up a wall around myself, to protect myself from being harm.
i've learnt not to trust people easily, because it reminds me of the hurts i've been through.
have you been wondered why i chose such a time to take a break?
i was there, to seek the trust that we've built since years back.
i was there, to find the hope in friendship.
i was there, wanted to prove to myself that friendship doesn't fade as time passed.
but hearts do grow fonder.
i was there, believing that old friends are always there for me.
that you will never betray me.
obviously, you don't understand.
it's okay. it's really okay.
old friends, are always and still my source of comfort :)
i thankyou, for being there, for me.
Friday, July 24, 2009
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