another sleepless night. a better one, at least i am not alone. kylie is still awake, doing her assignment. keeping me companion.

nightmares. yeah, haunted by nightmares. woke up sobbing. maybe i am just too tired recently. not so sober anymore.

smsed jojo, not going to college. gonna skip today's classes. i need a break, from everything, eagerly. still...feel like going home. going home might not even be one of the ways out from the chaos but at least i feel safe. home is always my shelter from everything, that's what i think.

i thought, this sem would be a better one. at least i won't be so emo anymore. guess that i'm wrong. i've learned to keep, everything, by wearing layers of masks. that's why, i guess. tearing down my layers of protection weakens me, in a way.

today's my last day of medication, i should be happy. finally, bye to pyelonephritis, bye to amoxicillin and antibiotics. no more needles and pains. i praise Him who gives and takes away.
two years, long enough to let me see who cares and who don't.


life changed. last year was a life-changing downturn for me. life's not the same, anymore. i try not to miss the old life, not so much at least. the passing away of my niece struck me down, miss florence, still. miss shawn, too. sometimes i just don't understand why such awful things happened, but somehow, i still managed to give thanks and i know that's not the end yet.

i need to grow, that's what people say. i need to be tough, that's what people tell me.
i need to learn and i tried, still trying.

*yawn* gonna go back to bed, chaos.